Breathe
There is an opening. Breathe.This morning I woke up and started the day with a familiar sadness. When the day starts, my awareness expands to remember where we’re at. The news of Tony McDade's murder, Brianna Taylor's murder, George Floyd’s murder, the racist and divisive tweets from the White House, protests manifested from the decades of oppression and longing for my dignity and liberation of Black people too long deferred. Fears of sickness and death in the time of COVID-19, voter suppression, environmental collapse and many others form like a cloud that sits between my head and heart. The feelings accumulate and become overwhelming. I’m here again. Breathe.
In the shower the hot water brings my attention to my body. Noticing the tension I’m holding in my shoulders, I exhale deeply. I am relaxing. The water on my face feels like washing away tears. Leaving the bathroom, I can feel the cool air on my chest and legs. Walking into my room, I notice the overwhelm is different now. The thoughts are coming again, among them I notice some appreciations. That shower was...pleasant. The smell of breakfast makes me smile. The news is reporting that LA mayor Garcetti is defunding the police. There’s a break in my overwhelm, and I’m able to notice more things. An opening to balance my thoughts and buoy my emotions with a broader sense of what is. I’m watching Kimberly Jones powerful analysis in her “how can we win” video. Breathe.
From this place of balance, I feel more grounded. The truths that were breaking my heart, have cracked an opening that makes me feel more connected and resilient. I think of my grandma that always told me to look for the helpers, and my teachers that trained me to focus my attention. Breathe. I’m remembering the lessons my ancestors taught me about joy, music and creativity to sustain myself and my birthright to live my life. I feel free and I burst out in song. I can feel spacious, now I’m dancing around moving my body. Breathe.This has to be what liberation feels like. I’m laughing and dancing until I loose my breath. I sit with my hands on the ground and my mind is spinning. This moment is coming to an end and I notice the heaviness returning. The suffering is still there, and I’ll be back again in the overwhelm...later.
Breathe. My liberation felt boundless and inexhaustible for those few moments. My freedom feels accessible to me now. I can feel into my body, and create these moments for my heart and spirit. I can invite in life’s joy to sustain me. The more I can create these moments, and even string together, the more my life feels free and I take some ownership of my power. Breathe. May all Black people find ease and access to our individual and collective liberation for this Juneteenth.
The process I share in this story is a pathway towards resilience that many of us are experiencing. Becoming aware of our bodies through Somatic and Mindfulness practices invites us to feel and not just think about our lived experiences. From this place we are more often able to respond instead of react. We increase our self awareness and are able to interrupt behaviors to create better outcomes. This personal work is essential to racial equity, and is a foundation of the work we do at The Justice Collective. Won’t you join us on the journey?